PGHIMC - Pittsburgh Independent Media Center

Selective Diversity: When It's wrong to be too different.
by Daphne Quistenstout Wednesday, Jul. 21, 2004 at 11:37 PM
Daphneorta83@hotmail.com

In the Steel City, many neighborhoods exist that are full of different types of people. Little did one resident know, that sometimes it's wrong to be too different.

I read your story entitled "No Girls Allowed" in the current issue of The City Paper. While I think what is being seen is true. I agree with everything that was presented. But after reading your article, I was on the street, and something happened to me. I'm not sure if I should tell this story to someone else, or if I am even writing to the correct person. I feel it's important for this to get out though, because it reflects what I've experienced so far in your city.

The following is a letter that was written by a friend of mine, and was also submitted to various papers around the region (Although I'd be surprised if they actually publish it). It is shocking but true, that I have had the same experiences in certain neighborhoods. It would be wrong for me to list all of the places I have had bad times in, because it would not reflect properly upon the people in the neighborhood that are decent. Interesting enough, are the points that she brings up. If our city is economically depressed, is this really the way we should be treating people that do not fit into the general stereotypes set up by the masses?

The letter begins:

Dear Daphne,

I am a woman. There's no doubt about that. The only problem with this, which I will be totally honest with you about, is that I have been a woman for two and a half years. Before this time, i was living as a male. I originally came from an area near Indiana and I had lived there previously for 17 years. Currently, if you are doing your math, I am 19.

I have been trying to move closer to the city for at least 3 years now. Every time I was in the sections of the city like Mount Washington, downtown, the South Side, I have been met with nothing but the most friendly people. People give directions, hold doors, they're very polite. I was overly excited about moving to this city, because for the first time in my life, I had thought that I had found a place where I really feel welcome.

In my old town I was a computer engineer. I was not afraid to go out and find a job, and I set out doing that as soon as I moved to the west suburbs for a while. Once again, people were nice, polite, and generally pleasant. I was excited to move into the city as soon as my job came. But it never did. I managed to find a job working for a company in the east doing technical support, but to this day I have never managed to find a job doing what I did in Indiana.

The other day, I was looking at apartments. There was one in the east end of town. I happily got out of my vehicle, and walked up the street to the apartment, and was immediately heckled by the neighbors. Everything was thrown at me, from the very creative "It's a dude in women's clothing" to, "Man walking over there!" to the lovable but cute "It's a wig!", all of which, I could say really didn't make my day. I would've excused this behavior and wrote it off as the workings of one person. Alas, this was an ENTIRE row of houses, nearly seven in a row. After politely excusing myself from the viewing, I left the neighborhood and do not plan to ever return. What's wrong with that picture?

Of course I know that I am different and unique. What I didn't know is that I now no longer classify as being able to qualify for humanity. What exactly are these people thinking when they think of the word 'diversity'? Is it an all-inclusive banner? I could've expected this thing in the farmlands in the middle of the state. Maybe even in my hometown. But in all of my relatively happy and quiet life, I have never, EVER, been treated in such a way before. This is not the easiest thing in the world for someone to undertake, especially someone who is on their own at 19 years old. It only adds to the issues when you realize that these people who mocked me are living in an area the city is pushing people to move into.

I think some parts of Pittsburgh are great, and there are many wonderful things to offer there. But there are some places that I know of now, that I will never shop in, never go through, and try to avoid completely because these people have now offended me completely. I hope these same people, and local business owners, don't turn around and cry for more diversity in their area, or even complain when their business dies off. They're being offered diversity everyday, and an opportunity to make money. They throw it away every time they turn someone away for being a different color, different shape, different size, or just because they love someone of the same sex. Don't pretend it's not there, because this experience, as well as a handful of others in those neighborhoods, prove it. If you are trying to get people to move into an area, you do not push them away with indifference or hatred. You accept them for who they are, regardless of their physical and mental nature, and then get to know them. So when people say that Pittsburgh is doing this to women, it's not just women...it's everyone. Every shape and size. If you don't fit the stereotypical mold, then you just don't make the cut. So I want to thank you, Pittsburgh, for teaching me that it's okay to be different...just not too different, or else you could be in trouble.I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to write this letter. I don't really know who to turn to with this, because I want people to know about my experience. I want people to know what it feels like, and I also want the residents of these neighborhoods to understand a bit better. It's a pipe dream that I could possibly get those ideas into the public, but maybe your paper could help get some of it accomplished.

Thank you

add your comments