PGHIMC - Pittsburgh Independent Media Center

Edified Redemption
by Matthius Tuesday, Aug. 10, 2004 at 11:02 PM

A different way of looking at the anti-Nader efforts taken up by Reed Smith and sparked by pro-Kerry folk.

Police arrived abruptly at the corner of 6th and Wm.Penn Place Downtown last Friday when motorist Joe Dough rear ended a PAT bus. He claimed that the accident was caused from a distraction on the surface of the facade outside the law office of Reed Smith. "I will never forget it, out of the corner of my eye appeared that face, you know, with the one messed up eye. Nader...I saw the face of Ralph Nader in the dirt on the surface of the building."
Members of the reputable law firm took turns in a mad cleaning detail in order to remove at-least half of the strange erosion crafted relief. Pedestrians and several write in candidates watched as the more ambitious law students took up hotel soap pads and added elbow grease to the case.
At first the police did not realy care to look into the situation due to a lack of worker incentive that has caught on from a few months ago. But they became quick to concur along with several elderly folks with glasses, that Joe Dough should be charged with reckless driving since only half of the independent candidate could be seen on the building. Had the volunteer analysts not run into trouble when trying to use A.A.R.P. cards when parking, they would have seen the lawyers of Reed Smith attempting to wash away the appearance.
So now the dirty work is done, and one more person (Joe Dough) is punished for claiming that a third party candidate ever had a chance at making more than a cameo in another political season. Joe Dough was fined and charged for damages to the bus. Added to his fine is a stained reputation as a ego-maniac and several lashings from Kerry campaign volunteers. He will recieve the lashings at a martini bar in Harrisburg before the end of November.

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