PGHIMC - Pittsburgh Independent Media Center

New K.Y. Jelly On The Shelves In Cleveland
by Matthius Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2004 at 9:58 PM

The musicians need a few lessons.

“Seven minutes and counting...” chirped Wolf Blitzer as I walked into a deli to watch the vice candidate debate. I remember hearing a friend of mine say how he is deathly certain that Dick Cheney is a hologram. Well, when you look at it cross-eyed, isn’t this ping pong table that we call democracy a hologram? I mean, we allowed for it to be projected on to us. This whole idea, this system that we fell blindly into, is being projected onto US, and it has no substance for our benefit at all. I have really been considering the plan of living in a commune and farming my survival. But with the amount of mercury in our three rivers, my future child could easily be a display of abstract at some Pabst sipping artist’s gallery in Garfield.


When you try to make heads or tails out of last nights vice candidate debate, the process will more than likely convince you to enter a State Hospital. Unless you have a firm grasp of Chomskian analysis, you will take a side. Taking sides is dangerous. As Pittsburghers we know this. Just look at our two predominate newspapers. I had the misfortune of actually being assigned to watch the Cheney/Edwards debate for a class of mine. I do like Edwards, and I will only vote for him if I am sure that Kerry has a chance of getting dysentery and passing away while on some scab support…I mean on holiday with his honey in the Free Trade Zone of the Americas.


The debates, as we all know are not really worth watching, unless you understand the “freedoms” of the English language. We have two sides fighting for the top of the hill, and those of us that are not elite swine, will remain in the valley, only to endure the trickle of flooding piss-poor economics. That is not bad if we can find a means to erode the pedestal that props these iconoclastic pigs up. We have to pay very close attention to what these cats are saying.


From the bat, Cheney revealed his tricks when his use of the word power was emphasized. This is a word that the Roman Conque… I mean, the average American responds to. Power sells, we know this. Of course we know not to trust the “right” side, but let us not forget how to squint our eyes when we look to the left.


John Edwards is a self made man. This is something to be said for, but drug dealers are self made as well. The issue of drugs was mentioned last night. It was made apparent that much of the world’s opium comes from the Middle East. So why are we fighting them? We should have them over for brunch eh’? Edwards may be the ideal politician, especially for those of us who have a steel lineage. But we can not ignore the fact that he was a lawyer, and like those pro-bono hungry cockroaches at Reed-Smith, he is still a tool, as a lawyer.


Early on in the debate we had the blessing of tuning our ears to foreign policy. Pass this next comment on to any contractor in our region and they will agree. If the issue of construction comes up here or across the pond, and the deal does not go to the lowest bidder, than the whole thing is very shady. Edwards mentioned this no bid contract idea last night. He was right. When money is not being saved, it is being abused. We only have so much. Which brings me to another issue. Edwards was hit up with the question of Saddam being attached to terrorists. He admitted that; “Saddam needed to be confronted.” Sure he did, and I am sure that Reagan confronted him when Iran was a “threat”. Hell I could confront Saddam if I had the mean$ to keep his mouth shut. The whole issue of foreign policy is a loaded revolver in the hands of a five year old child with A.D.D. Osama is a wild card. This is why he is still free. Why would any smart poker player void the use of a wild card?


I would like to stick to Edwards for know. I mean we are all well versed in Republican jokes. That can wait. Towards the end of the foreign policy section of the debate, Edwards made the blunt statement; “Saddam had no weapons.” That was it. We know that he had no weapons! They found him in a hole with nothing but a dealer’s stack and some dirt. What I am trying to say is that Edwards did not specify and this is a tactic that most politicians use when speaking in public. That could be all that he meant. He did not go into detail. Edwards also made another questionable statement. “We have a plan for success.” Ok, sure you do, but who will benefit from this? I don’t think that residents of Etna will.


Now we can cut up on Cheney. We already know about his ties of hegemony with Halliburton, so I am sure his word is worthless, but let us look closer. He scared the hell out of me when he slipped while saying; “Pushing Saddam back to um…back to Iraq.” You know that he is well versed in wishing weak exploitable nations into the Stone Age. He made a bad slip with that one. Shortly after that, he made a comment that gave credibility to national polls. Now any of us that have read Chomsky, are well aware that polls are fabricated, especially the popular ones.


When we look at the Republican Party, many of us can say that the issue of Afghanistan, following September 11th, was not a bad idea. We had a problem to deal with. No American was concerned with questioning why those who laid that atrocity on us did so. But we already threw responsibility out the window when our divorce rate hit the moon. “Enormous progress in Afghanistan, exactly in the right direction.” Responded Dick on the question of those early chess moves. Progress, that word that we love, except when we are talking about cancer. You see, we have to look a bit deeper at these swine. America does not really stand on its own as much as we would like to think. Globalization has watered down our culture and we may soon be totting the Euro in our purses and wallets if we are not careful enough.


From watching this debate, I realized that neither of these two sides should e given any credibility as far as representing people is concerned. They both took cheap shots at one another all throughout the debate. This reflected about as much class as Arnold Palmer slamming his putter into a green after missing a ten foot putt. We must be careful of who we elect. Local offices are a crucial decision. I am voting for Brian Taylor. He is running for Senate under the SWP. Evidentially he is a coal miner from Western Pennsylvania, so naturally he will get my vote. Watch out cats, the dam has let loose and we will not have any bouncy this round if we let them flood us with mis-leading bullshit.


Yours as truly as possible,


Matthius

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