PGHIMC - Pittsburgh Independent Media Center

The Pitch Intensifies
by SAA Saturday, Aug. 27, 2005 at 10:37 AM

More commie propaganda

I blew my load for the war after the 2004 elections. I think the entire country should hang their heads in shame for that debacle. George W. Bush was his typically smarmy and repugnant self, oozing his viscous rhetoric like a pus engorged, infected wound. John Kerry was like some kind of frightening democratic Frankenstein, with all the charm and affability of a stop sign. The press frothed and chomped like rabid wolverines at any inconsequential non story they happened upon. I think my metaphor machine is broken. And the American public, the most important part of the equation, were spun and manipulated into oblivion. And that’s exactly what we’ve stepped into.


Oblivion, kids. The shit’s hitting the fan in droves. It seems like every day a new catastrophe befouls the world. Right on top of the garbage heap is everyone’s favorite quagmire, the war in Iraq. I actually heard one of President Scroob’s shills lament that this war rivals in importance the invasion of Normandy. Yes kids, you heard it here first.


Barring some sort of seizure, where does this lackey get off?! Don’t shit in my hand and tell me it’s chocolate!! Time and time again, the Bush league try to turn lies into truth and render the truth opinion, usually termed liberal opinion. Let’s stop calling every idea fabricated with an ounce of intelligence as “liberal”, unless liberal now means “having half a brain”.


Oh, the hypocrisy. I am aghast at the treatment of Cindy Sheehan, and not because I’m some sort of neo patriot or even a caring human being. People like Cindy Sheehan used to be held up by republicans as the blessed virgins of the war movement, the teary eyed mother whose only son made the ultimate sacrifice. Now she is being lambasted and criticized within an inch of her life by the very same people who would love to use her tragedy as propaganda fodder. The right isn’t as pissed about her message as they are about the fact that they didn’t get their hands on her first. Some idiot actually drove through a slain soldier memorial in Texas. Now imagine if that F150 doing the damage was flying Food Not Bombs bumper stickers instead of a confederate flag. Tell me the right wouldn’t be screaming for blood?


All last week I was treated to footage of protesters being tasered and pepper sprayed while writhing around on the concrete in front of the Army recruitment center in Oakland. Now I know these pale and sickly looking black clad vegans pose a serious security threat to the people of Pittsburgh, but I think calling in the K-9 Unit was a bit much. My tax dollars need to be redirected to better training for the Pittsburgh police. It’s as though any situation more taxing than a cat up a tree requires the SWAT team and enough semi-automatic weaponry to bring a tear to Tony Montana’s eye. But I digress.


The rhetoric stops here. From now on we are all telling the truth. Ok, I’ll go first. George W. Bush has been a horrendous president. Since my history is a bit dodgy, I’ll stop short of calling him the worst president the U.S. has ever seen, but really, if he’s not the worst he’s at least runner up. Just because you criticize your government, or president, or military does not automatically mean that you hate America. I hate America, of course, but people tell me I’m a communist. But those of us who are not clinically deranged who offer constructive criticism can not be refuted simply by saying “Treasonous traitor, America hater!” That was my impression of republican blow up doll Anne Coulter, or as I like to call her, Succubus from a Fiery Inferno. Just because you say something is true does not make it so, like “Mission Accomplished” or “Iraq has weapons of mass destruction” or “I’m not a skanky, drug addled hoochie with an eating disorder.” (I’m looking in your direction, Nicole Ritchie.) Not all democrats are hairy legged pot smoking gay hippies, just like not all republicans are white, Christian, racist, ignorant, rich, fat…actually, that is true. This one’s for all those talk show shills with faces for radio (i.e. Biff O’Riley and Thrush Lithium) who act oh so holier than thou, when really their just as sick and depraved as the rest of us. Your empty self righteous clap trap has met its demise. No one is currently interested, barring clan members and illiterate red headed step children who live in their momma’s basement. Celebrities did not lose the 2004 election. John Kerry did that all on his own. Any idiot who goes to Susan Sarandon or George Clooney for insight on politics should be hung, drawn, and quartered in the town square. Who says town square anymore? I don’t know, it just sounded good. How about a mall parking lot? The Iraqi people would be the best to judge if they are better off now than they were with Sadam “I Love Doritos” Hussein running the show, and if they say they are not, I would have to believe them. This war was a colossal mistake. Let’s pretend everyone is as cold and devoid of feelings as I am. The fact that we are ritually killing the youth of America does not irk anyone else? Yeah, lets kill ‘em before they have a chance to mature into decent people. That’s a great idea.


Ignoring a problem does not solve it. Turning away from ugliness does not make it disappear. Denying responsibility does not accomplish anything. This disregard for accountability must stop now. You are responsible for your own decisions, not your imaginary god, not your president or leader, not your parents, you and only you can be held accountable. Taking responsibility for your self is the first step to enlightenment. There is no divine plan for you, fate is a product of your imagination, life is one huge disruptive accident. Become your own god and master, take control, and do what you want.