PGHIMC - Pittsburgh Independent Media Center

Bush is not Hitler
by Prescott Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2003 at 2:01 PM

Bush is no Hitler

When Hitler took office in early 1933, there were over 6 million Germans out of work; in 1935, that number was already well under 3 million, dropping to under 1 million by the end of 1936. Under Bush, the American unemployment rate has skyrocketed and layoffs continue to mount.

Hitler built the autobahns, virtually inventing the freeway. Under George W. Bush, Amtrak and America's airlines are bankrupt, putting transportation into its worst crisis in history.

Hitler was a completely self-made man. He came out of poverty and rose to the top with no help from his father. Bush rose to power purely through the guiding hand of his father and his father's oil friends.
Hitler was the first to unify Europe under a common currency and single foreign policy, inspiring the European Union of today. Bush's unilateralism has split the international coalition, causing annoying arguments among trekkers at youth hostels the world over.

Hitler was a captivating speaker, inspiring throngs of Germans to lift their right arms at a 45-degree angle. Bush has difficulty remembering each and every tiny little syllable, causing American intellectuals to curl the right sides of their mouths into what is known as a sneer.
When no one attacked Germany, Hitler would attack and destroy them anyway. When Saudi Arabia attacked the United States, Bush helped to shuttle the bin Laden family out of America while deferentially referring to the Saudis as our friends.

Hitler introduced the blitzkrieg. Bush introduced the strongly-worded UN resolution.

Hitler believed in astrology. Bush believes in Southern Baptism.

Hitler was scary. Bush is silly. Hitler scowled. Bush smirks. Hitler started out as a painter. Bush began as a partier. Hitler preferred to rest in a picturesque mountain retreat. Bush prefers the arid wasteland of Crawford. Hitler's unit was uncut; Bush's is cut. Hitler spoke German. Bush speaks English. Hitler's wife was named Eva. Bush's wife is named Laura. Hitler's last name began with an H. Bush's last name begins with a B.
Hitler had a mustache.Hitler was elected.

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