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New Year Resolutions For The IMC Bush-haters
by Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman
Saturday, Dec. 27, 2003 at 7:41 PM
2004 promises to be a long year for all you Bush haters. So here is something for you to consider in you New Year Resolutions.
I resolve to examine at least one of the president's statements, acts, gestures or facial expressions without first insisting it proves that the man is a stupid chimp evil liar plastic-turkey-holding DRAFT DODGER MY GOD CAN'T YOU PEOPLE SEE HIM FOR WHAT HE IS?
I resolve to consider that not everything Bush says is a lie. Example: If Bush says that ''two plus two equals four,'' I will not spit, ''Oh, that's Enron math,'' and spend the rest of the day rebalancing my checkbook in Base Eight.
I resolve to grasp the absurdity of appearing on national talk shows to insist that our freedom of speech has disappeared.
I resolve to be more precise in my language. When I am tempted to criticize the administration for being ''pre-emptive,'' I will recall that arresting all the hijackers on Sept. 10, 2001, would have been, well, pre-emptive, and that I might well have protested this indefensible act of ''profiling.''
I resolve to let at least a minute pass before I accuse the administration of contemptuous high-handedness toward our allies. By which I mean France. I resolve to ask myself whether my attachment to French approval is analogous to a high school chess geek mooning after the lovely but haughty cheerleader who regards everyone with bemused contempt. She winked once. That was weeks ago. Was it all a tease?
I resolve to accept the election returns, and not spend my precious mortal allotment in the humid chambers of the Internet message boards, insisting that BushCo obviously stole the election in 46 states. Perhaps Howard Dean will lose because he suggested that the governor of a toy-sized state knew more about the military and foreign policy than a man whose policies toppled the Taliban in Afghanistan and the Baathists of Iraq, and brought Libya to heel.
Meanwhile, I resolve to admit I'd be delighted to impeach Bush for lying to a grand jury. Even about sex. Especially about sex.
Bush/bin Laden '04
by Anarchists for Bush
Monday, Dec. 29, 2003 at 12:19 PM
Go Bush!
Pick the worst of two evils, since things must get worse before they can get better.
Who else has the proven experience to ruin the image of State and Capital, than the drunken frat boy who drove the country into a ditch?
Drove the country into a ditch
by Assholes for Democrats
Monday, Dec. 29, 2003 at 1:44 PM
Some ditch. Th economy is better. The world is safer. We have significant Medicare reform. And this is a ditch?
Well I guess it is better than Ted Kennedy driving anyone into a river.
Oh, Canada!
by Anarchists for Bush
Monday, Dec. 29, 2003 at 1:53 PM
>>Some ditch. Th economy is better. The world is safer
Man, you've got some killer, indoor, NAFTA pot , you're just lip-synching FAUX or a combination of the two. Regardless, keep it up; maybe you can convince yourself.
lip synch
by herve
Monday, Dec. 29, 2003 at 4:01 PM
how has Bush driven the country into a ditch? And no responses from the Democrat fa(u)x machine either.
Georgeherve
by -
Tuesday, Dec. 30, 2003 at 8:24 AM
Record deficts, unemployment, loss of civil liberties, corporate welfare, violation of international law and treaties, violence towards US citizens, secrecy regarding his and poppy's documents, assaults on Nature, lifelong collaboration with the folks responsible for 9/11.In short, just continuing the Clinton Republicrat program.
In short, Watergate seems like a fraternity prank.
The worst President in the brief history of the US.
Oh yeah, but Cavuto & Hannity said the economy's good, so it must be
The Trifecta
by Commander in Chimp
Tuesday, Dec. 30, 2003 at 8:29 AM
"You know, when I was running for President in Chicago, somebody said, would you ever have defecit spending? I said, only if we were at war, or only if we had a recession, or only if we had a national emergency. Never did I dream we'd get the trifecta."
-George W. Bush, making a "joke" in 2002
Make Me Laugh
by :)>
Tuesday, Dec. 30, 2003 at 8:01 PM
You leftists/democrats are so consumed with your hatred of Bush you have lost any concept of government or political sensibility. GW is probably the GREATEST modern President. You Dems are just pissed that he is actually succeeding and your jealousy and rage has your fists clenched around each others throats.
![[masthead]](/images/masthead_140.png)